dealing with divorce

Coping With Divorce

Written by: Jillian Hester

There is Nothing Rare About Divorce
You have probably known couples that have been divorced. You may even be a child of divorced parents. We see it everyday on television and in the media. It is by no means a rare thing at all. However, no matter how much you are exposed to the idea of divorce, it doesn't make it any easier for you, and it is still very hard coping with divorce. You may feel like you will never be happy again, but the truth is that you will. It takes time, and patience. There are a few other things that will help you when you are coping with divorce.

Facing the Facts
We all want our marriages to work out. No one enters a marriage with the expectation of it failing. However, when it is truly over, we must accept that fact. Hanging on and hoping for something that is not going to happen is unhealthy and can really interfere with the healing process. If you and your spouse really want to work things out and decide to go that route, that's wonderful. However, if your spouse does not want to work things out, it's important that you understand it and move on.

Having Fun
Coping with divorce can make you feel like the only thing you want to do is lay in bed and sleep the pain away. You might want to stay away from friends, family and work. It's really hard to get yourself motivated to get up and continue with your life, but it's important that you do. One of the ways that you can do this is to try and have fun. If you can get together with friends and do things that you really enjoy, do it. These friends might just be the shoulder that you need to lean on anyway. Taking time to enjoy life some during a divorce is really important.

Children and Divorce
Coping with divorce is hard in any context, but when children are involved, it can be a truly terrible experience. You are full of guilt for them as well as yourself. Every parent wants their child to grow up in a 'whole' home. It's important that you explain things to your children. While they don't need any details of the divorce, you can tell them that Mommy and Daddy can't live together anymore. Reassure them of how much they are loved and that you are still a family, but maintain open communication with them. They are experiencing emotions as well as you, and it's important to support them. Try to do more things together with them, and give them as much attention as you can right now. It is a delicate time in a child's life when their parents are getting divorced, so make sure that their needs are addressed as well.

While at the beginning it really feels like things will never get better, they honestly will. If you use the tips and ideas above while you're coping with a divorce, it may make the process go more smoothly, and it might help you to deal with things more easily.


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